I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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