I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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