I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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