Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Randomize