Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
