Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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