Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
