No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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