She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
