Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
