That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
