We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
