before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i think my cat just said my name.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
