you would pick up someone in the library
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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