Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
