I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize