The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
