just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
