..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Fuck appropriateness.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
