Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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