Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
