i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
