btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize