Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
