Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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