Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
