we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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