sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
