Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize