I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
