i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
