Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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