How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
