My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
