I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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