You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
