Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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