i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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