I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
