new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize