Sponge bath it is.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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