her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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