So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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