After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
