I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
