the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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