Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
