I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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