Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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