ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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