Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I fill condoms, not promises.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
