I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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