How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
