remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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