drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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