suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
