I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize