Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
