Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
