I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
