She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
