After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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