Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Who died my cat blue again?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
