Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We are all done wearing pants today
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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