So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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