um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
