So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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