all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
