Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
