I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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