I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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