I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
