Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize