You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
