so explain again why im purple
no
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
