marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
