I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize