Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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