4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize