We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
