i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
