all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So much rum. So many feels.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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